Better sleep. Your own space. The pool. When it comes to booking a hotel instead of staying at a relative’s house, the reasons can be obvious. Still, your decision might not be as readily accepted by your family, so you might need a bit of diplomacy if you want to enjoy the comfort of a hotel room. Here are a few reasons you may want to book hotel accommodations, accompanied by some tactful, ready-made responses to help avoid family drama and counter the persistence (or resistance) of your well-meaning would-be hosts.
You don’t want to put anyone out
You’ve hosted before, so you know the prep work—and stress—that’s involved: cleaning, laundry, meal planning, grocery shopping and even more cleaning. Regardless of a relative’s insistence that your presence is no trouble, just know it is almost always more work than they bargain for, even if you are an exemplary houseguest.
What to say: “After hosting my fair share of house guests, I’ve made it my rule that I don’t put that kind of stress on other people.”
You need personal space
Having your own schedule and not wanting to disturb anyone can be a good reason to book a hotel stay away.
Staying with family means merging different routines, preferences, and idiosyncrasies. People will try their best to be polite, but after a few days of awkward run-ins and clashing schedules, even a large house can start to feel small. Having your own hotel room as a home base to decompress, relax and enjoy some alone time can go a long way toward helping you stay on good terms with your family.
What to say: “I’m a night owl (or a really early riser). I’d hate to interfere with your routine.”
You want a comfortable bed
A hotel mattress is almost always preferable to a basement pullout or your old twin bed. This is the perfect opportunity to reap one of the few benefits of getting older: the effects of aging are readily accepted as a perfectly legitimate reason not to do things like squeezing into the guestroom.
What to say: “You know, I’ve been having back problems lately, and my mattress needs are very specific.”
You’re overdue for some “me” time
Me time can be hard to find on vacation, so take advantage of hotel amenities and slip away to the pool or gym.
Hoping for some kid-free time to nap or have a book you’ve been meaning to finish? If you’re traveling with tykes in tow, see if your family will take the kids for a few hours. Then hit the hotel pool with that novel you haven’t been able to finish—or hang the “Do Not Disturb” sign on your door and get in some quality time with your significant other.
What to say: “The kids would love some one-on-one time with you! Could we drop them off for a few hours?”
You need a reliable Internet connection
Putting the finishing touches on a business report? Checking social media to see what friends are up to back home? Either way, you’re going to need a dependable internet connection. At a hotel, you don’t have to endure spotty Wi-Fi, and the peace and quiet offered by your own room can help you meet that deadline.
What to say: “I have an important presentation coming up at work, so I’m going to need a quiet place to burn the midnight oil.”
Your hotel is a no-judgment zone
Not up for picking up? Hotels help you avoid leaving a mess for Mom.
You wouldn’t dare leave your bed unmade or pile damp towels on the bathroom floor at a relative’s house. Staying with family means you’ll want to be on your best behavior—for the duration of your stay. Hotels, on the other hand, are a bit more come-as-you-are—a definite plus if you tend to leave a bit of a mess in your wake.
What to say: “I’d hate for you to feel obligated to pick up after me.”
Your hotel can give you an out
By booking a hotel room or finding a kid-friendly getaway, you create a definite end time. Once your days are up, it’s time to go—unlike a relative’s house, where you might be talked into staying an extra day or two. What’s more, a hotel can offer an escape route for uncomfortable situations. Dinner conversation getting tense? Perhaps your allergies are acting up, and you need to get back to the hotel to pop a pill. Maybe it’s past the kids’ bedtime. Or maybe you need to email an important file and you left your laptop at the hotel. (Conversely, if you’re having a wonderful time, you can always extend your stay without feeling it’s an imposition.)
What to say: “Shoot, look at the time! We have to get back to the hotel for checkout.”